It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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