So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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