I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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