grandma shit on top of the toilet
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
