God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
40s are totally the cure
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize