ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
