I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
