dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
