we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
