you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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