very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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