the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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