I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My vagina is officially offended.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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