I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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