can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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