people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize