Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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