Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed