Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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