I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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