Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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