These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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