I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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