I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize