I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
