that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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