that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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