You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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