Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
50% drunk capacity currently
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
