2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
