Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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