I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
