So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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