I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
