No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
