his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
