I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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