i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
