her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize