You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
