Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
