I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i love accidental penises.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
