My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
