You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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