New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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