Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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