it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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