I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Vodka?
Forever.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize