I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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