Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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