I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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