you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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