I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
