Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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