Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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