doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
