i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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