I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
