When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
