Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Houston, we have a blender
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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