Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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